Like a flower left alone to stand under the pouring of the rain, I refused to surrender to life’s adversities and chose to stay rooted firmly to the ground despite the raging storm.
Having my parents separated even before I composed my first paragraph in first grade, I’ve learned at an early age that life won’t always be merry and though fairytales are printed in books- ‘happily ever after’- however, stays in books.
Mom gave me Coleen Edrea Francisco Ematong for a name. I came into this imperfect world on the afternoon of August 18, 1992.
The first day my parents considered each other not as husband nor wife and not even as friends, mom took me away from the man who sired me. She sent me to her family’s home and I spent about two years with only an ailing grandmother and a nanny to look over me. I lived with cousins who considered me more of an outsider than family, aunts and uncles who loved making me feel like an outcast in their midst. I can never blame them though; I didn’t really belong in their bloodline. Mom’s biological uncle took her after her real father died. That uncle is the father mom came to know and the woman he married became her mother whom I also considered to be my grandmother.
I felt lonely and most of the time, alone. I longed for my mama and papa, at that time they were both in Dubai, working in different companies and refusing to see even each other’s silhouette. I wished of being with my father’s family, the only family I’ve ever been home at. When Mom finally came home, I thought everything’s going to be fine again. But to my dismay, matters went from bad to worse.
Mom dated men, I had another sister from one of them. I should have felt happy still but I had all the reasons not to. Mom inherited a small business from her parents but our finances to sustain the status of the business dwindled due to her being irresponsible…. a lot of things happened. They happened, and though I feel ashamed of having to reveal them- for some reasons, I feel glad they had transpired in my life. After a couple years, I had a car accident which had caused me a fractured clavicle and also made my father come home from Dubai. Papa then brought me back to Doña Juliana where I reside up to this day.
Well, they say I have a life and yes, I have struggled to live it well. I tried to achieve something. I studied when needed and refused to open my notes too whenever my mind just want to wander somewhere else. I wrote a lot, I made all the hurt I’ve had in the past as my ink and I must say- I rarely run out of an equipment to write.
I love my family, I’d do everything for them. I love my friends, I’d die for them. I love myself, I dream a lot and above all… I love God, He gives me a reason to still be here despite anything and everything that comes my way.
I cry a lot, I laugh so much, and I feel weak when I’m in love. I made my way through the most difficult points in my life always almost giving up but every time I think of quitting, I think of those people who love and believe in me then I start to believe in myself again.
I’ve come to realized that the world has no responsibility to protect any of us from getting hurt. And so I taught myself to always be enduring, no matter how severe the wounds Life would cause me.
Daddy Lord made me a fighter, and never a quitter.
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