Good afternoon. Hi, everybody.
Like most of you, I’m also
in a hurry to get this over and done with. I’d very much like to eat, yeah.
But before we’re done, I’d
like to share something about this man we’re going to say our painful goodbyes
to.
For one, he’s my
grandfather. Yes.
To say that lolo was a great
man is an understatement.
For someone who had to
work his way through a lot of things, he was more than great.
But I guess it would be
worthless to talk to you about his struggles in life, after all, most of them
he went through when I wasn’t even born yet.
So I guess I’ll tell you,
how I’ve known him as husband to my lola, and as my grandfather.
I know for a fact that we
live in an era where infidelity is considered as ‘normal’, in a world where selfish
home wreckers walk freely and no one dare throw stones at them. In a world like
that, in an era like this, lolo did stand out.
He was a perfect example
of a faithful husband, and a really good provider. Had he lived five more days,
we could have celebrated his and lola’s 50th golden anniversary. But
unfortunately, he passed on.
I don’t know if this would
interest you but, he was actually the one who brought my mom to the hospital on
the eve of my birthday, mama even told me once that he stood as 'father' when I was born. He’s done so much for my mom, and for me. But I never
really got to thank him. So in behalf of my mother, I’d like to say, ‘Thanks,
Lo.’
In the last five years of
my life, I’ve seen lolo as someone who’s tough and stern. To me, he was the
epitome of a ‘father’, which was a good thing because I didn’t grow up with
one.
He’s not exactly the
loving kind, but I know he did love us all.
About a month before he
died, I was frequenting my groupmate’s house near La Salle, we were working on
our thesis there. And one night, I had to go out of the house around midnight.
He and lola were already in their room, and though, I could have easily just
gotten out of the house and wait for a taxi there alone, I decided to wake lolo
and asked him to accompany me outside, I told him I was scared.
The truth is, I was
expecting a no. I was expecting lolo to get angry at me instead, especially
that it was really late. But what he did surprised me, in a good way. Instead
of the expected scolding, he picked up his shorts, wore his hat, took his
flashlight out and went out with me into the streets.
It took about 15 minutes
before an empty taxi finally passed us by. Within that 15 minutes, I tried to
talk to him. I told him why me and my group mates had to work at night, I told
him that I was really tired, and that, if I’d have it my way, I won’t go
either. He just stood there, listening, but with the movement of the crease on
his forehead and with the look on his face, I knew he was interested in what I
was saying. I felt the desire to talk to him some more, I felt the desire to
tell him what wonderful plans I have for him and lola. But, I don’t know why I
didn’t. When the taxi finally came, I said goodbye to him, I told him I’ll be
back in the morning. I could have kissed and hugged him but, I knew it would
surprise him; I don’t do that very often. So as I hopped inside the cab, I
watched lolo walk back to the house. And silently, I thanked God I still had
lolo. In a way, I felt safe, protected.
A few years back, I tried
working in a call center while I was in my freshman year in college. I lasted
for about five months. And every night, on my way to work, lolo would walk me
to where the tricycles were and one time, a car passed us by and yelled nasty
stuff at us, just for the heck of it. I’d usually let those things pass but,
Lolo, who was more than 70 years old at that time, yelled back and scolded the
young men. That night, I realized that no matter what happens, lolo would never
let anyone treat us badly, at least not without retaliation.
It’s funny that I remember
all these things now.
You see, when he died,
among the first few things that I asked myself was if he loved and cared for me, still, because there was a
time in my life when lolo and I really got on different sides. I guess he hated
it when I got so so so so angry at the world.
I never really got why he
couldn’t understand my anger, but now I know why.
I was fluent in Anger,
Lolo was fluent in love, and that’s why, for a while, we really didn’t
understand each other.
In his last few weeks, I
remember him asking me if I already had dinner every time I’d arrive home at
night. I did appreciate it, especially coming from lolo.
Somehow, I’ve realized
that maybe I shouldn’t be asking as to whether he loved and cared for me still,
perhaps I should be asking if he even knew I love him, too.
Because I really do.
I remember one time, lolo
was looking for the map which I used in my social science class in high school,
I asked him why he’s looking for it, and his answer reverberated in my thoughts
for quite some time. He said that he wants to study it, because even when he’s
already old, he still wants to learn new things.
I fell silent at that
time, but had I known then what I know now, I would have asked him to learn how
to survive cardiac arrest. That way, he’d still be with us now.
So we lost a leader in the
family. But wherever he is, whoever he’s with, just gained another soul who
won’t let health complications stop him from living life to the fullest. And
wherever Lolo may be, I hope he’s happy.
Indeed, to say that lolo was great
is truly an understatement, because more than just a great man, he was a good
man.
And though it may take a
while before we’ll see each other again, let us all comfort ourselves with the
idea that, this isn’t goodbye, but only, so long…
