Forgotten emotion

I haven't been in school today.. Haven't been in any of my class. The latter won't sound unusual since that's how I am in most days. IN SCHOOL but NOT IN CLASS.

So I spent the whole day listening to the songs I've saved in my computer, watching the seventh part of the Harry Potter series over and over again, talking to Elpijay, thinking, thinking and thinking.

I was planning to go to school by around the 5th hour of the afternoon but then again, I decided to just wash my uniform and some of my other dirty clothes and when I was done, the thought of going to the ZOMBIE LAND have already been washed out of my mind.

I was thinking that today would just be one of those days where I stayed home and do nothing. Like as if forgetting that I am supposed to be a busy person. Then I got a text message from a classmate whom I've once been very closed to. It won't have been significant had I not been curious as to why someone like her sent me a message where my name is typed followed by a sad face icon. Of course, being me, I sent her a response asking what the sad face icon was all about?

Her answer didn't really surprise me. She was just asking if it was true that I would be shifting to another course. And so I did tell her the truth. That I would really be leaving MassComm. I don' really like it when people would fuss over my life and the decisions I make but I just felt the need to tell her something. And despite myself, as I re-read the replies I've sent her right now, I have somehow gotten the feeling that somewhere inside me resides a girl who is strong enough to handle whatever this is that she's going through. A girl who, despite being lost, would still manage to find herself again.

Somehow, I am wishing that I could also tell myself the same things that I tell those people who try to tell me how great I am and that I should be staying right in this place where I've been trying to belong to for so long. But then, if I could tell some people that I am okay and that everything else is happening for a reason and make them believe in it, I just know for a fact that I cannot because in many ways, I also don't know if there is still a reason left for those people who look up to me to believe in me the way they do.

At some point in life, we really just have to take a turn and go the other way.

That's what I told her, I am not really sure if that girl texted me because she was really sad after hearing that I'll be shifting to another course or perhaps she only wanted to find out if what she heard is true.

Whatever is her reason, there's just one thing that I have somehow learned in our conversation. Maybe I could get through this. Maybe despite me being so weak right now, I'd soon be able to come out of this.

So to that friend, THANKS! :]


(This is a delayed post)