Dear Self

Dear Self,


You are starting to get hurt.

Your attempt to ignore it for the last 12 hours has been futile. I guess you're into it deeper than I thought. It is not something you can get away from anymore. But how you should face it, how you should deal with it, I don't know either.

This pain that seems to circle the corners of your beating heart is the same pain that sent you to sleep last night. It's powerful, and unyielding, and if you let it, it can take over your entire system. You can't let that happen. Surely, a heartbreak can ruin your life, if you just let it.

And there goes the question, why is your heart breaking? Why?

Would it be because, whenever you talk to him, you feel like you're talking to yourself, and somehow you feel like the idea of soulmates finally makes sense? Would it be because of Rascal Flatts' 'I won't let go' that you keep playing whenever you feel down and alone, because each time you hear it, it feels like he's the one singing it to you, and then you feel better? Because you believe deep down, that he meant every word of it?

This is frustrating, and maddening, at the same time. Believe me, I know.

It is hard to love one man, and be in love with another.

So, go on, let 'em tears fall. Who knows, they might clear your vision, and then you'll see the answer to all your questions.