Gary's song

"I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons, finally content with the past I regret..."


There goes the first few lines of the song of my life. It was sang by my favorite Country Rock band, Rascal Flatts. I first heard that song during my sophomore year in College. And, I've decided since then that it will be the song of my life, until I could find a new one that is more fitting, that is.

I played the song as I walked through the path along the chapel, I hummed the song as I walked. And then I noticed, I was walking too fast. Normally, I take my time when I walk. Even if I know I'm late for class. Which is weird, coz I don't like being late nor being made to wait at all. I think walking is an avenue for musing and amusement, at the same time. So when I noticed my pace, I slowed down. I tried to sit on one of the benches in Handumanan Park and observe my surroundings.

"I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long, I'm moving on..."

Gary Levox's voice suddenly infiltrated my senses. Every word of the song is like a sword that goes through my ear, reaches my heart and pierces it. And, for a while, I just sat there. I had no choice but to listen, in the hope that there'd be redemption in the last stanza. I know the song almost by heart, but, I stayed anyway. I just had to hear it again.

I felt hot tears building up in the corners of my eyes, I looked up to stop them from falling down. And I was victorious, not a single tear fell. But I had to process my emotions for a while.

I was tired, yes. I lacked sleep, yes. I'm anxious, yes. I really wanted to rest, yes. But I couldn't stop, BIG YES.

And that was it. As soon as I have recognized the emotion, I then attempted to deal with it.

I was like, 'Go home'.

'I have a meeting'

'You cracked last night, you might crack again.'

'I may have, but it was light that I've let in'

'You just have to let some things go'

'I've already let go of a lot of things'

'Then what makes this so hard'

'Because it's out of principle, that I keep going'

'You're not gonna make it out of this'

'You know me, I never give up'.


-My thoughts went blank, my alter ego must have given up.-


"And I have made up my mind that those days are gone.."


I listened to Gary sing the last few lines. I started to walk again, slowly this time, noticing a kid being fed by her -I'm guessing- granma in the gazebos, the old janitor I made friends with years back sweeping fallen leaves near the chapel, the gloomy sky above, and how tall the centennial tree has gotten in the last few months.

And I was amazed all of a sudden because just a while back, I didn't even notice them. Good thing I slowed down, I thought. But then Gary just said he's moving on, so I remembered about the meeting I'm supposed to be presiding.

"I'm moving on"...

Gary kept singing. So I walked on.