Making room

I had to go out around eight o'clock tonight to get to SaveMore. I just remembered that I woke up at almost six this evening, which means that I might be up again until dawn, that's not exactly ideal for I already have classes tomorrow. I'd be needing my strength, the kind of strength one could only get from rest. I didn't anymore change, my cousin had to nudge me a couple of times just to tell me people are staring at me.

I didn't realize I was wearing my pyjamas. Heck! But I tried not to care, after all, I was on a mission to buy my Magnolia Fresh milk, I guess it's the only milk strong enough to send me to sleep these days. I was thinking I should just take a few more shots of tequila but I don't think it's a good idea. I can't be irresponsible anymore. Besides, I guess it doesn't taste that nice anymore, well, don't get me wrong, I never liked the taste, I just like the fact that I get sleepy whenever I drink.

So, yeah, went to SaveMore and bought my milk. I had a glass and a half. I've been yawning for the last couple of minutes but, I don't seem to be dozing off, which is annoying, really.

My bed feels so nice to my skin right now, with new sheets and pillow cases. I've been up all night last night just cleaning and wiping and dusting and, yeah, sneezing, too. My cousin did say she's gonna help but, I don't know, I let her sleep after a while. I guess I really work better when I'm alone. But then again, I also spent more time sitting around and reminiscing and, just catching my breath.

I had a hard time deciding whether the files I've stashed on that wooden table in my room are no longer important to my daily affairs. And for some reasons, I had to think twice if I should do away with all those birthday cards my High School bestfriends had made for me years back. Somehow, I had to remember why I kept them there in the first place. I mean, they're fire hazards, and they acquire more dust than my bedroom floor but I must have kept them so I wouldn't forget that a lot of people love me. There were also some photos of me and my friends, a picture of my High School Crush which I stole from a bulletin board, and some certificates which I kept so I'd be reminded of my days of glory.

I must have kept them there because I probably knew that at some point, I might need to see them again. And I did see them last night, and I did remember what they meant to me. But then, I wanted to clean my room, I wanted more space to breathe in, and I wanted them to vacate the place which they've held for a time. So, after moments of reminiscing, I took them into the huge box that I've prepared. As much as I love what I remember when I see them, they're just not part of my present. They're no longer of any use to me, they're just there for reminiscing purposes.

And it's alright to reminisce, but I also have to move forward. I also need to live the life I have right now.

When I've already moved the box into the room next to the bathroom, I dived into the bare foam on my bed and curved into a ball. In the middle of the night, I hugged myself, for reasons that are not apparent to me. I just did, because probably, my arms felt the need to warm me. And it was at that moment, that I was lying there on my bed, curved into a ball, that I realized.... I have just made room for some new things, not only in my room, but also in my life.